My Mental Health Journey

As John Forbes Nash, Jr. put it: I suffer from "Aspects of Mental Illness". Coming to terms that I have a diagnosis - that my mind is abnormal - was a nearly 20 year journey that started in 2006 when I was diagnosed with my first ''severe manic episode." I still maintain that my "manic episodes" do not fit the DSM (Diagnostic Service Manual) definition as I do not experience racing thoughts or pressured speech: rather are simply a break with reality.

My official diagnosis in 2007, from Stone Mental Health Institution at Northwestern University, became "Atypical Bi-Polar Type-1 with Severe Manic Episodes". I remain unconvinced that it is not a misdiagnosis of "Low Grade Schizophrenia". My current diagnosis, "Atypical Bi-Polar with Psychotic Features", was diagnosed at Federal Medical Center Butner in 2022 and the treatment remains the same under for this diagnosis "Schizophrenia" under the DSM 5-TR.

These "breaks with reality" tend to happen when I am in a corner: from 2006-2016 they generally occurred when I reached a major milestone with a client and fought to transform my standing in the organization - demanding more responsibility and compensation which often led me to being let go. Every client on my LinkedIn profile I have left in better position, from both a technical and business standpoint, then when I found them - however it is exceedingly hard to "paint myself out of the technical box" and have my vision and strategy be taken seriously when I was contracted for my technical skills.

In 2016 I was the Lead Architect of Merchandising IT for United Airlines; while the pinnacle of my consulting career the position was one of the lowest compensated roles I had accepted in over a decade and I did not feel valued by the client. I resigned and made it my mission to focus on positions that combined my technical and business strategy acumen and I coined the position "Chief Transformation Engineer" defining Transformation Engineering as the "Intersection of Business, Technology and Brand": Understanding how these three pillars synergistically drive each other without any being the dictating focus.

This led me on a grand adventure, founding STARFLEET IN BOLD - a meta organization with a mission of implementing Roddenberry's vision without a horrific nuclear world war and later The Space Force - a NATO level NGO attempting to implement military-style structure to achieve rapid and permeant advancement in Cyber+Space.

My parents withheld support of my pursuits - unless I was trapped at their compound in Dalton, WI: a 20 acer parcel of woods with 5 buildings including a 2 bedroom home, two wood shops and a metal working shop. At one point it was a master setup for custom carpentry and metal work along with unique collections such as an ultra-rare currency collection and 9 vintage Farmall Tractors. Sadly my father chose to sell all of the equipment to pay for his and my mother's medical bills and maintaining the high cost of living manifesting from a remote existence.

In May 2017 I was homeless and admitted to the Milwaukee VA psychward, one of dozens of hospitalizations and in an unfortunate incident with an older female nurse - who confronted me without support staff while I was in an agitated state
(against federal and state regulations) - I pushed and she fell wrong and broke her wrist. I was charged with Substantial Battery - at her behest. She refused to let Justice Point intervene after they approved a deferred compensation agreement and I was denied access to Veterans' Court since I was not a Milwaukee County Resident and my parents refused to support a move to Milwaukee.

From 2017-2018 I was in a series of group homes, my choice as an attempt to disconnect from the insanity of my parents - and finally Vets Place Central - a homeless shelter for Veterans. Eventually I was forced, in June 2019, to accept an NGI plea (Not Guilty by Mental Disease or Defect) and was sentenced to 18 months Conditional Release. Against the wishes of the state, the Judge approved travel to Las Vegas for the AFWERX Fusion MDO conference where my company MultiPlex.studio had been awarded an ultra-competitive "Showcase Status" where we presented our solution as part of a competition and conference.

While I made it back to Wisconsin in the agreed upon time frame my parents thought I was "manic" and complained to my Conditional Release Supervisor who demanded I meet with her in Columbia County several days before our scheduled appointment - to which I refused because I had business in Milwaukee. I told my parents I would meet them for dinner at Elsa's on the Park at 7pm - and when they arrived they brought with them 5 Milwaukee Police Officers who informed me a warrant had been issued for my failure to meet with the Supervisor and took me Milwaukee County Jail where I substantially decompensated leaving my Judge no option but to send me to Mendota Mental Health (State Forensic Psych) for a minimum of 6 months (statutory).

While in custody at Milwaukee County Jail my mother was diagnosed with Stage IV Lung Cancer and died before I could ever see her again. I will discuss the NGI process and Mendota in general in a latter article - but suffice it to say the state laws and institutions for forensic psych are barbaric and poorly written. I propose that Milwaukee City and County prosecute the "Mentally Ill" outside of the State process. I will write a serious bill for the Milwaukee Common Council to consider, regardless of the success of my candidacy, introducing a City Jail system and Mental Health adjudication processes.

While my father was still alive - over a year after my release from Mendota - I took advantage of a Center for Veterans' Issues program that paid my rent for 6 months - if I maintained residence. In December 2021 was visiting my then partner in Nashville when I had a "psychotic break" and threatened - then POTUS - Joe Biden over the FBI Terrorist Hotline - and again in front of two Secret Service Agents. After severely decompensating in Davidson County and Grayson County (Kentucky) jails I was transferred to Federal Medical Center Butner where I was rediagnosed and property medicated for the first time in my life.

On 19 May 2023 I pled guilty to two counts of threatening the president, a felony. In order to run for local office - unlike federal - I require a Presidential Pardon. I am optimistic I will receive one before the 1 December 2025 opening of petition of signatures for the 2026 Milwaukee Race.

Other then a relatively minor series of incidents in Summer 2024 that required slight tweaking of my medication - a reduction not increase - I am fortunate to be experiencing the most significant and lengthy period of stability in my adult life. No small part is my Father left me a Revocable Trust Fund with a family friend serving as the Trust Fund Administrator who has been remarkably supportive and enabled me to achieve stable housing in Milwaukee and Chicago for the first time since 2016.

"Mental Illness" or "Disorder" is a problem that effects a substantial portion of the population - particularly those who have run afoul of the law. Finding substantive and creative solutions to prevent these crimes through early intervention and a court system that treats and prosecutes will be key to solving the increasing crime rates facing the City of Milwaukee - particularly the 4th District.